TILL DEATH…..

walla i gues this blogging ish is turning out to be as strainious as Home Work. …anywhoo this weekend was a fun weekend coz it was jus grait…..hehehe  i atended a wedding of ma cuzos EX Gfriend… getting maried by  a former skool mate.So here is how the two lovely Birds MET hoping that none of the people who know them ever stumble upon this.here it goes

Once upon a time the bride use to be a loose plan for ma cuzo who is married  and after a while she decided the loose clande part was not good enuff and tried to pindua serikali… but long story she my cuzo decided the best way to get rid of her is dump her was to pigia the classmate a through pass and thats how the fairy tale begun…..????(but am guesin this is not the version they would tell their kids….lol)

Anywho the wedding

9am- my cuzo pick me up and we head to the brides Digs ,we get a phone call from the groom to pick up her mother ,and of we leave camera equipped and bottle of some cheap ass BACARDI SUPREME  and some good shit RED WINE(which for me i think its overprised cause all wine taste the same and leave u with a nasty hangy) we fika the grooms house every guy in there look hangied and half dead but surprising all dressed up and taking a nap ,it easy to tell they had a Good beachelor party.anywho pick up the mom take her to the digz do the kikuyu tradition stuff which made the neighbors in this obama land think we were bout to perfom a linching or some cult thingy

everyone heads to church and coz nowdays am a self proclaimed Ethist, i go to were i find ma peace liquor store

12noon

my phone rings and my cuzo is cursing me out @ the other end coz i left guest there while i was supposed to beba them to reception drive there quick found everyone has left and head to the reception  but stopped in a bar on my way there…(go figure) , am all fired up to meet some nice kenyan ass coz trangley enuff they dont have them in the menu @ my local pub.Me drooling claws shappened ready for some optical nutrition so…. get in with my bottle of maji but with the sweet Waters inside(POMBE) spot a chick like 6foot thee big booty small frame long hair ,and thot thats was enuff for optical nutrition,decide to make her the meat for the day

3.30pm

something something  the Tall brod said and then some lequoir and jus like that  we are on the same page and am very atentive.after  awhile i get my stach we start drinkin forget the wedding couple of  other brods join us,before we know it the wedding is  up and people are getting ready to leave and suddenly people think am the one with the planner for the evening party …blaaah blaaah blaaah, i get numbers and make plans to visit a couple of brods which is pure bull ,because there is know way am flyn to a dfrnt state to meet the same brod… nah …. not me

suddenly 8.30pm

we are at the marriage victim crib people are changing gals putting mad make up on ,while me to my true self jus getting busy with ma beloved alc… by this time i had no idea wat i was drinking coz all the liquor was in plastick bottles.maybe there was some changaaa…lol but wen u having fun and getting high who need to know wat u drinking…..lol

11pm

we are at this club SEATLE very nice club based on some frosty beeds theme, and it has like 80% Asians hot mummies ,Me and my small head forget my mother land mammies get onto hunting some fresh loosly laced drunk asian mamies,while occasionaly revisiting my beloved gals,long story short i got a degree(for the slow ones HEAD) and got busted by some kenyan mamiz who decided to bitch bout it,though i jus meet her few hours ago and ,i havent put a ring on her finger.she decides to make a commitee to the  kenyan mamiz that i apologise to them for being rude and some bullshit.me beeing the gentleman i am ,i ask for a minute to get ma head and speech strait

3,30am

I gather my cuzo and flee the club like a refugee…lol (funny how i apologise  to strangers who i met few minutes ago and are leaving in few hours to come.). i jus think the ladys had some cheap drugs or they were jus high on some female homones that i was not willing to findout.


4.00am

ME hungry ,my cuzo and a friend of his who is as slow as they come decided he will be buying us breakfast.and in turn tell him wat me and my cuzo do to command that much attention .my cuzo beeing the theiry guy decides to give out the lecture,am sitting there hungry almost blacking out ,while i spot some fuckin hooooooooT mamiz  dressed to kill .and i notify ema fellow drankards and ma cuzo being the teacher tells the guy to go try vybe them,the guy says how,and  am told to go show him how……………………………..


8.30a

My stomach is rumbling and  i wake up drunk and half naked (figure out which half….lol)am in bed alone but its not my bed ,(note to self: whehe what the hell did u u get Self into……lol  laugh)

stand up on the bed hit myself on the low hanging light ,some brod walks in and can baerly contain her laughter,she looks familiar so i assume she the gal from the food place,and the 1st thing she says is MOI  are u sure ur going to work @9.30  (note to self u funny bastards the best fake name i could come up with was for MZEE DANIEL ARAP MOI not bad).

ME TO Brod who am scared to ask her name ? did we do it?

she laughs and says get ready ill drop u home as i promised,.

{note to self this is how it feels to be chips funga,but atleast am getting a ride home}


NB:it sucks to be CHIPS FUNGA and mad respect to all the gals who do this

2:)  i actually think no man should ever call a chick a whore unless she pays cash 5mins b4 sex(am defendind ma self…lol)

3:) never get drunk and  be a chips funga if your working the next day(almost got fired when i was busted taking a nap in the washrooms…..LOL)


BAADAYE



6 Responses to “TILL DEATH…..”

  1. welcome back son ur tales leave me wondering did u enda stato to whore around or chase some obama money bitch!

  2. Geetaoh Says:

    What tha hell is chips funga(sounds gay)..nywayz good vybe…(i think u shud now include pics of tha chics u DO..mimi nataka ona…kama wewe nasema ukweli..)..adios..

  3. hallo P4wned hehehe i kujad to make cash but the bottie olalala hehehe,but it tkes a whoe to know a whore so thanx whore….lol

    Geetoh asanti mzeiya ill send u the pics u wank on them ….lol

  4. geetaoh Says:

    yeah pliz coz sara jay and camella bing are bcomin rather clitche!!!

  5. i may not have thought this was awesome a number years ago nonetheless its surprising how time varies the manner you perceive all sorts of ideas, many thanks for the article it happens to be relaxing to browse through anything intelligent occasionally instead of the typical garbage mascarading as blogs on the net, i’m off to take up a smattering of hands of zynga poker, cheers

  6. zynga either ur an artist or damn coz this was a random narration of my random life

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: