..MY 1st Bar Fight!!!

Ikonini…??

This being a boring Sunday noon and am working. i have decided to skip lunch due  with the new car am driving(naendesha/diarrhea) ,i dont know what the hell i did it or not eat but it got me  on a fucked up  routine,anywhoo. i yesterday night i heard this dream that i was being beaten up by drunk guys.this has been happening lately,and i think its because i have taken a forced leave on my so beloved alchohol for two weeks now.so this got me thinking of an incident that happened wen i got myself into my 1st bar fight…here is the ivents that unfolded

I cant remember the actual day but i was jus fresh from High school and feeling all grown up and ishhhed up.Iremember my parents had just left to somwere and i was home alone with the car and my Adolecent mind.. this was like being given a million dollars and a blowjob at the same time.I had jus turned 18 and my mind was young free to run wild and try out new stuff.if u saw the expression on ma face guys would burn the Monalisa and put my picture there A.S.A.P , shiiiiieeet!!!! the world looked like a little urinal i could pee on.i had the car the house and quite a substancial amount of money to get me liquored up for the weekend.so i called my usual suspect DJ,ST and my CUZO.

So as the guys got there asses to my parent digz  i was there putting on ma clads and possing infront of the mirror with dfrent stuns.. looking all BBoy and shiet(i still dont blive the shiet i used to wear….lol damn nimetoka mbali)so within a couple of minutes we were all in the moti very happy and ready to hit the rave…hehehe the problem was it was actualy 11am… talk bout being early…hehhe thats jus pure neiveness.we went to carni strait were we found couple of family’s having linch and we talked to the waiter the guy gave us a ood idea of what time the rave actualy happens.so all of us being newbies in this raving deal.we were not helping each other.we new names  of joints  but had no idea of were they were locations.so we just drove around and found ourself in BURU hehehe so a local pub got in bought a good bottle of sminoff  vodka and  some tuskers to teremsha the good Devil..Uwould have thought we know what the fuck we were doing…heheh

so guys started sipping, and before even the giza came in we were thrown out of the pub leaving half the bottle of sminoff and a our pombe.talk bout being virgins in this drinking game.gguys couldnt drown a 750 vodka,heheh.so we decided to look for food and try out anathatha joint.i drove around came around a good joint bought 2killoz of nyama witch we divowerd like vouchers and we made good friends with the butcherman who in turn showed us a good rave joint around.Something likeCOCOA BEACH MARKET am not sure,good times we check in there 7.30pm drunk as hell but the music was good so all of us went strait for the dance floor and did our kuku dance very drunkly.(if this was cought on tape am sure it would be on worlds funny videos).


Fasr-fwd: i wake up at the table next to me is my cuzo drooling to the floor there is a very big empty bottle of KC on the table that i have no idea were it came from My friend DJ and ST are busy trying to get their mark on.so i strall around to try and catch one fish myself,i spot a fly mama standing next to a big pillar and lock on her and head strait for thee catch,but i realised to late that the pillar was actualy a very big ,UGLY BLAcK LOOKING GUY.and i noticed this wen i stood betwween the guy and the chick and the guy jus shikad me mashati squre thats was wen i realised..ooohh  its not a pillar.(talk bout alchohol fuckin up ur vision and brain.)so with my luck going very down south.i head back to the table were my cuzo and DJ are sorounded by this 2 big bouncers ,wen i enquire for the info  that wen i realised what the faq the fracus was for.kumbe the KC was snack in the club,those guys dont sell 750ml of KC,and am here wondering which of this stupid las thot it was a good idea to place the smuglled chupa ontop of the table…and to make matters worse this guys defence was that they bought that shit there,were they dont sell it,.


the inevitable had to happen we were thrown out but my pal with the love of he’s beer managed to tell the guys he has to maliza it.so my cuzo and DJ went to the moti while,me and  ST stayed at the door waiting as St malizad the beloved beer.So i think this was a good time to check out what time it was and i asked the Ugly guy at the door amd the idiot tukanaz meand pushes me :i contemplate kickin the guy on the nuts and running for it.but i decide to forgive the guy(heheh i was scared and couldnt walk leave alone run).


the browl setup:

A guy gets out of the club with this fly mama and my guy st decides the chick should be with him.This guy to is Bigger than the bouncer so am not sure wot he fack my pal is thinking talkin shit to her chille,the guy seems to ignore but,i guess patients can run for so long.the guy comes back punches my Pal in the face aand For sure my friend is airborne for some seconds,wen he comes crushing down with the chupa on he’s hand.and here is were i realise the bouncer @ the door was actualy the devil himself.MY pal id blacked out on the floor bleedind to death.and the stupid bouncer is asking the guy to pay for the broken chupa.i try to talk to the guy wen the idiot jabs me in the tumbo and i get pissed and kick the stupid bastards ib the buts abd bite his mkono to release me.hehehe kumbe i just Dug ma grave.now the guy who jus bite up ma pal.Decide its a good idea to land the same punishment on me.needles to say.we were squarely bitten up,wen they decided its a good idea to take us insidde and give us lessons on the raving scene.Talk of the guys being mature adults the guys were like 35yrs old thats like twice our age then.the guys actualy washed us up and bought us some couple of booze to ease our pain.while we got a very long good lecture on how to behave in a club(this was the only time i went to the club and came out with knowlege…hmm)


{the blog is getting to long have to cut it}:but before i maliza i have to mention ma friend DJ who was sleeping in the car while we got whooped decided to drive us home which ended up in an accident.and the stupid guy actaly stopped and hopped out of the car.whitch inturn  i jumped in the driver sit,turned the lights off and speed off leaving the bustard at the scene but he managed to find his way back home.NOTE 4AM  was the time…


NB:I just realised in that club everyone was i giant and very ugly,i think we walked in a sect meeting or somethin…


BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6 Responses to “..MY 1st Bar Fight!!!”

  1. Oh yeah, and ur folks were coming home in the nxt 2 days if am not mistaken! Had 2 repair the motis,n come up with a very very good lie of kwani juzi kuliendaje:) darn,those were the sikuz…

  2. Apart from the typos, very funny. But at least you broke your rave-aginity.

  3. @cuzo u remember that shit hehehe goodays

  4. @orioneur dont worry bout the typos its haraka and laziness for spellcheck,,… bt ill work on that thanx men

  5. Plus dreaming that you are being clobbered by drunk persons, is just early signs of psychosis. Mad love for your blog.

  6. .. this was like being given a million dollars and a blowjob at the same time.
    that cracked me up…RAVE saa nne?RORFLMAO!

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