BEACH PARTY [the lost tapes]..Prt 1

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is.
—Oscar Wilde

As i progress to write this blog its becoming clear to me that my  life in campus holds some of the craziest story ,in this so called life of mine.the more i try to recall any creative thing i did with my life there,its sad to say that all i did there was get fucked up and fool around.If u have read my previous blog u will notice there is a pal of mine called Darkness.the guy gave me a flash back on a trip we took to coasto.The culprits Involved were BB,Darkness and goes the story:{hadithi hadithi….. hadithi njoo sankarewa,,, maziwa ya mtoto….lol}

A week before we took the Trip:

Am sitting in ma room and i get a phone call from ma crazy lady cousin from Coasto ,telling me there is a beach party happening in coasto.This happened to be the 2nd beach party ever to happen not like the shit they pull this days were guys go for the beach party in timberland boots boots and jeans and hoods,while chiqs rock high heals and hipstars{some guy should be hired to kill this people}.This  was the virgin beach party undiluted by the masses(washamba wa nairobi…lol as the coasto guys say).i know so becauze i happen to attend the 1st we make arrangements and i decide to share the news with Darkness,who happen to be hanging out with,BB and some crowd.. there like 10 guys hyped out and almost every one is game for the trip.a day before we leave guys back out as kawa.and we are left just 3 guys;me darkness and BB.I don’t remember exactly who we send for the tickets but the guy really did a number on us. the fucker bought us the tickets for aday earlier.and us being stupid we dint check the date,and we were supposed to travel the same day the beach party was happening.i always used to go home every weekend so i had to panga the wazazi ,for cash and a reason.which i did rather to well.

Saturday afternoon came and we bounce to tao to get the bus .guys are plastered with smiles across their faces,u would have thought we had just robbed a bank.we head to the ticketbooth to confirm our sits and from there shit started going downhill.the guy reads the date and says the tickets were for yesterday, and the bus leaving now is full plus he cant refund the money .lets just conclude and say thats 500sh down the loo.(and in my mind am calculating how far that loot can sustain me in SJ & the pleasures it can purchase…hmm)so we just know we have to go and search for another bus for coast and shock on us 1hr later.the next shift of buses would actually get us there wen the Party was the comment am just cursing the mad Swahili & Arabs chiqs i saw in the last beach party.We are in tao disparate and stranded all this shit is going wrong, till something caught our ears,i still cant believe this but actually there was a nissan semaing beba!! beba!! beba!! mombasa.this was God send we purchased a ticket waited for a while it even bebad guys kwa njia.if u know how small a nissan is!picture sitting 5guys per row plus the distance to coasto.I had a strong heart because i knew what was waiting for me in the Coasto…..

[side story :]

{unknown to my pals i had met this young sweet thing in coasto last tym i waas there and lets jus say i had planted all the necessary seeds wekead some fertilizer,manure and did some gardening through the for me ,this weekend was going to turn out to be the harvest day and celebration galore…..hhhhhhhhmmm talk bout counting your chicken before they hatch.end of side story}

back to the trip,needless to say the trip took 4ever my friend Darkness {,bless the brother} ,gave me never ending stories which i drifted in and out off while saying ehe… wacha…My boy BB was in a different row tucked between two fat mathez,[pole bra]but from the few quick picks i took of him on the long journey.its safe to say am sure the guy reviewed he’s whole life.and by the expression in his face it safe to say it wasn’t all he wanted it to be including this moment we were in @ the eventually we arrived  at the station,i dialed up my cazo and told her to pick us up @ the station.At this time guys are pumping themselves up.i had not told ma pals that my cuzos are chillez and are very pretty indeed.i just wanted to see their reaction.After a couple Of minutes,I Hear A soft voice in a coasto ascent calling out my name(i actally had written my name and found out while reviewing….lol)her voice was out of this world.worse wen i got to see her,i couldn’t help and salute her with one big hard-on. the chick had actually put on two handkerchiefs.One covering her tits the othe hwer ass now u can see why my body had to …i was stunned i even 4got to see the jaws drop on ma friends.Everybody introduced themselves because i was just lost @ this moment.all i could see was the the night ahead with this chick on my arm.. the thoughts i had are not worth been remembered by any sane person.we headed to my cousin cribs and met other chick pals at the house.@ this point we were in a very good ratio like 1:3 .i could see my guys were very happy and My boy BB i think he was Star stricken, because the guy couldn’t sit on the sit without moving around and him  being light dint help.but then again am guessing the guy was very happy if u know what i mean,coz he was always pulling  down hes t-shirt.hehehe. Darkness as always have away with people and was already cracking story right left and centre.

I love my cousin for this.She calls me out and tells me the seeds i had pandad have bared great fruits infact i can go and pluck a quick one ,before the harvest after the part(if u get my drift).Talk bout having great cousin(PIMPS).we head back to the room guys are talking and my cuzo announces that me and the chick should go get some stuff she left in this chiqs place.Am at the doorway trying to look cool.the chick comes over grub ma arm and we head out.its 9 o’clock .so we head to the streets am feeling like ol smooth talking slick laying ma game.shes giggling punching me politely we get @ the bustop.shortie i is leaning on me.@ this moment cant wait to get to her place when suddenly we heard. Kiyana Unafanya Nini na Malaya Wa Kasablanka High.Talk bout a sudden change off mood.the way am wired is Flight/take off wen u see/hear the police.i actually take a few steps and for sure i was going to leave her there.but shit! reason hit me at the wrong time.shes ma cuzos bestfriend so how do i explain returning home without the chick.i do the gentleman thing and stay there like a duck wen we are arrested.Am handcuffed to a bunch of other busted drunk dudes.the cops Insults us fluently its like this guy take a coarse for matusi.the guy am handcuff to isnt helping the situation.hes feeling all western and he says he knows his rights.Which is really Damn if u leave In Africa and your dealing with the cops,so i had to laugh ,which in turn earned me a very good slap if i may say.coz everything was censored from there.or i thought so.because all i heard was a continuous beep.the guy was seriously beaten up which cost me to.Because the more the guy moved around the  tighter the curfs got.i felt like beating up the fucker my self.

so as we are headed to the police cells.i try to talk some Ebonics type shit to the cops everything is going good.and i have separated a ka loose 50sh.then my cousin calls and i answer the phone and i dig my grave there and then.this is the words i uttered.”Tumeshikwa na karao”that was it… by the time i finished that line.i just heard  nani unaita karao.which was followed by infinity slaps and kicks.the chiq took my phone and we were dragged strait to the station.where my cuzos came to bail out.but the fucking cops,did want to hear shit,the chiq took was let out after a bribee and said i had to spend the night ndaani,so that i can learn how to call him Afandee….

To be continued……….


5 Responses to “BEACH PARTY [the lost tapes]..Prt 1”

  1. Wewe ni rasa sana…..

  2. hahahahaha dude uve malizad me wah i need to meet your cuzo damn son. and you can never turn a ho into a house wife LMAO at malaya wa casablanca.. hehehe.. this is how it played out for me once my paps asked me to meet him in town after a night of drinkin on my way cops stop me and am like fuck this is it. then the phone rings and it paps so in my ulevi am like ” Hello Dad Yes Its Me p4w3d ive been briefly stopped by the police i will be with you in a minute..” the cops just waved me on coz they knew they coudnt touch this nigga damn! keep it civil bro..!

  3. @geetaoh the story is long i count write it in one blog ill maliza iza bro

    @pawned dude ur civil when high,kwaani u sip fanta to get high….lol

  4. WHAAAT!!! This is why i cant fucks with Kenyan police on some real shit. First off u guys were innocently taking a stroll so i dont understand why yall got arrested…and the dude was right yall do got some rightS under the law…that is just BULLSHIT to me!!…our country is so anarchic it makes me SICK!!
    So did u hit the good or not??

  5. @KD clearly you haven’t been Kenya for a while.the cops are the law.and they dont need a reason to arrest u,if u still have friends in Kenya let them update u

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